The Chinese Basketball Association is the professional league for men’s basketball in China and is also known as the CBA; it should never be confused with the less prestigious and defunct Continental Basketball Association. The league was founded in 1995 and is comprised of 17 teams eagerly awaiting to compete for Xi Jinping’s love and affection. The season begins in October and ends in February just in time for Valentine’s Day. During the regular season, each team plays each other twice, once on the road and once at home for a total of 34 regular season games. The All Star game is held at the end of the regular season each year.
Georgetown University’s men’s team played a diplomatic exhibition game in China and one of the games was against the Bayi Military Rockets. The word diplomacy should be used loosely because the game ended when a brawl broke out between the two teams. Just like the WWF, chairs and punches were freely thrown and fans from the sideline also felt it necessary to participate. One Georgetown player phoned The Rock and Hulk Hogan to help in the melee. Fans launched bottles of water at players like projectile rockets. The fight took place one day after Vice President Joe Biden visited Beijing on a diplomatic mission. It would have been a lot more interesting if Biden was in attendance because I bet Joe could hold his own when things get rough.
INTERESTING FACTS OF THE CHINESE BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION
The Most Valuable Player Award can only be won by a Chinese player. The Most Valuable Peanut award is regularly awarded to foreign players.
Stephon Marbury has a statue of him erected in Beijing for leading the Beijing Ducks to a CBA title. After his death, his body will be cremated and placed next to Mao Zedong’s tomb.
Only two foreign players can be on the court at the same time for one team. This includes Asian imports, too. Imports from non-ASEAN countries are allowed to play video games while on the bench.
According to Bloomberg News 25% of the players who play in the CBA are foreign and 70% of those foreigners are American. But 25% of that 70% only shoot 50% percent from the foul line. You do the math. It’s simple arithmetic.
The Bayi Rockets have no foreign players and only have soldiers on their team. If they lose a game they are 2 to 1 favorites to win in a hand to hand combat match.
Against the Bayi Rockets, teams are only allowed to play foreign players a total of 5 quarters because the PLA has a vast arsenal of weapons to convince opposing teams to abide by this rule.
All players must take a true/false and yes/no test to prove they know the rules and regulations of the CBA prior to the season. If you are caught cheating on the test, you are sent to the country side to a re-education camp.
Each team is allowed two foreign players otherwise known as imports. After careful inspection at the port, they are packaged in boxes, loaded onto a truck and sent to their prospective teams’ warehouse.
Foreign players can only play a combined total of 6 quarters. For example, if a player enters the game for only 1 second, it is considered a quarter played. If a foreign player’s right toe ever crosses the plane of the court while sitting on the bench, he considered to have played 3 games and will be fined 250 RMB.
Preseason NBA games have been played in Macau and Shanghai in an effort to promote the league abroad and also give NBA players an opportunity to blow their absurd salaries at the newly built casinos in Macau.
Yi Jianlian, who has played in the NBA for the Milwaukee Bucks, the New Jersey Nets, the Washington Wizards and the Dallas Mavericks, won the Chinese Basketball Association MVP in 2013. After Yi won the award, he texted Mark Cuban a picture of himself in a bubble bath with the MVP trophy.
The Guangdong Southern Tigers have won 8 championships, the Bayi Rockets have won 8 championships, and the Shanghai Sharks and Beijing Ducks have each won one championship. The word Dynasty is forbidden when referring to teams that win multiple championships unless one of the players has lineage to an emperor.